The Art Of Fucking: Casual Sex

Casual Sex

* First off let me begin by stating that casual sex is not for everyone. Some people may find that need an emotional attachment with a person in order to engage in sexual activity or some form of a commitment.

Casual sex is something that I am very well acquainted with and something that enjoy doing. Since the day I lost my virginity I have always loved sex and pretty much figured out early on in my teens that I was aromantic¹. To be entirely honest my actual preference when it comes to types of sexual encounters that I enjoy is casual sex. I like the thrill of rough sex without worry of any emotional baggage. Simple acts that are purely driven by the basic human desire to get off and to feel good, not based off emotional connections.

I have long counseled friends on both the joys and dangers of casual sex. I am not going to give you a guide on how to have casual sex, there are far too many articles out there about that topic. Besides there is no wrong or right way to go about it per say. Nope, instead I am going to give some tips to keep in mind.

1. Think about it. And I mean really think about it.

Before ever acting think about if casual sex is right for you. In the heat of the moment it can be very difficult to actually think clearly through the hormonal surge of physical lust. I always tell my friends that it is best to truly ponder this topic before ever finding yourself in the situation.

Casual sex is not for everyone. Some people have little to no difficulty when it comes to fucking just for the sake of fucking. Others need an emotional connection with their partner to enhance their enjoyment. It is also quite possible for what feels right at the moment can become a regret later. They may feel dirty or as if they cheapened themselves by fucking a stranger. These feeling can also arise even if the sex is between two friends who share no romantic bond.

Don't sweat it if you fall into the category of people for whom casual sex is not right for. You are not abnormal in any way.

Another thing to keep in mind is the possibility of negative reactions from others. You may have friends or family that may treat you differently should it ever become knowledge what you are doing. This shouldn't sway your decision, after all anything involving your sexual life is your choice not others. You may want to look into being as discreet as possible instead.

2.Safety is a must.

I can not stress how important safe sex practices are in regards to casual sexual encounters. Condoms are a must if a penis is entering any bodily orifice. Yes even for oral. Carry condoms, including flavored ones. There are some cute and discreet condom cases out there so that it won't be too obvious in your purse..pocket..glove compartment...bedside. You can also use small cosmetic bags or even a change purse to keep them hidden.

Here is a link to a site on condoms and on proper condom use. Planned Parenthood

Dental dams should also be carried to be used for any oral contact with the vagina or anus.

Please keep in mind that although there is a very small chance of it happening, condoms can fail. The chances of this occurring with perfect use (condoms used correctly and consistently for every sexual encounter) is 2%. For the female condom perfect use failure is about 5%. The failure rates are higher in regards to typical use. So please remember to educate yourself on proper condom usage.

Because of the possibility of failure, even if it is a small percentage it may best if the female is also using a backup form of birth control (BC) just in case. In all my experiences I have only had two condom mishaps(one broke, the other slipped off). Thankfully I was also using another form of birth control or had immediate access to Emergency Contraception (EC) so I merely had to go for STD testing afterward.

I always tell my friends to have a backup plan. Shit can happen. If the female isn't using some other form of BC it is a very good idea to have EC on hand rather than waste time having to track down a place that has it in stock or willing to sell it when you absolutely need it.

I also advise my friends to get periodic STD testing. A lot of clinics perform these for free and also have tons of information on STD's and sexual health on hand. I actually suggest that everyone who is sexually active get testing, even if they are in a monogamous relationship.

If your partner entirely refuses to use protection politely refuse to go any further with them and get the hell out there. No sex, not even the possibility of mind blowing great sex is worth the risk to your sexual health.

3. Communication.

Yeah yeah I know. One of the great things about casual sex is that it is meant to be hassle free, but the thing is everyone involved should feel comfortable enough to let the other know what they like or don't like. You don't have to have deep meaningful conversations but you should at least let the other know what you enjoy or don't enjoy.

My philosophy is that ff you re not comfortable enough talking about sex with a prospective partner then you more than likely shouldn't be having that sex to begin with.

4. Respect.

I honestly shouldn't have to list this but sadly some people lack common sense. Respect yourself. Respect your partner.

Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable and like wise don't pressure your partner into doing anything that makes them uncomfortable.

Have respect when it comes to the pleasure of your partner. This isn't only about you, do what is within your abilities to leave them just as satisfied as you are.

Also respect your partner afterward. In other words don't kiss and tell.

5. Expectations- don't really have any.

Don't have any expectations what so ever about the hook-up. That includes even the expectation of fucking. Things happen, perhaps someone gets uncomfortable and decides not do go through with it, or perhaps things are cooperating as much as we would like.

6. Be true to yourself, your beliefs and what you really want.

This is the most important factor in deciding if casual sex is right for you. Do not do it because your friends are. Do not do it because others say you should. Do it because you want to. If friends and acquaintances keep pressuring you to engage in sex acts that you know are not right for you ignore them and get new friends. No one should ever pressure another person, not your partners and certainly not your friends. No one has the right to make choices for you when it comes to your sex life. Those choices are yours alone to make.

1 Aromantic means having a lack of romantic attraction towards anyone. I tend to describe what I feel for my partners as more along the lines of platonic love.