Porn and Masturbation discussion continued...

Part two is what I hope will become a series on having a healthy sex life.

After I made that I post I did a little more thinking about the topic. I seriously know a person who has managed to collect a few boyfriends that honestly held the belief that her watching porn or masturbating would constitute cheating.

Like I said before that kind of conclusion baffles me. I know that these guys indulge in a little of the self love when they alone. Yet the very idea that the girl they are with doing the same disgusts them, threatens their manhood. They so insecure that an orgasm not brought about from them is defined as cheating. I am not sure if I should laugh or just feel pity. My own experiences are so far removed from hers that I am left dumbfounded.

I acquired my first sex toys when I was a few months shy of 16. I was a virgin and dating young man of 16 who had experience and wanted to make sure that I was comfortable not only with myself but with sex in general before he slept me. He was very patient, understanding and not afraid to let me take charge of things between us. The toys were a gift from him. Yes I was embarrassed when I opened the box he handed me and first laid on the vibrator and dildo that he purchased for me. I was hesitant to use them, afraid that it would make me a slut for exploring self pleasure. He reassured me that they merely given so that I safely explore on my own to discover what I enjoyed so that should I decide to sleep with him that I could communicate those likes and dislikes. When we did finally sleep together a few months later although I was nervous and the whole thing was awkward I pretty much at ease letting him know what worked to help get me off.

Since that time I have always made sure that my partners held similar views of sex as I did. While they need not be into the same kinks and fetishes a healthy outlook and desire to experiment is very important. If a man I were in a relationship were ask me to get rid of my toys I would calmly explain that they are not replacement but merely tools to heighten sexual pleasure and connection. I am not ashamed to even ask my sexual partners to use them on me, and have quite a few times sought their opinions before purchasing new ones.

So girls. Do not be afraid to take charge of your sexuality. If your man is still insecure after you have tried to reassure him that your toys or desire to have them is not because you are not satisfied by him then perhaps it is time that examine the relationship as a whole and figure out if you really want to be a person that doesn't hold your pleasure to the same standard as theirs.