Anal Sex
My
first experience with anal sex was anything but good. We were young,
horny and constantly looking for something new to try so anal was a
logical step in our sexual exploration. In our youthful innocence
and impatience we did only the briefest research. We knew that things
had to be taken slow, and that lubrication and relaxation were keys
to success for achieving not only penetration but also to make it
more comfortable for me. Sadly in our ignorance we figured that a
lubricated condom would be enough. We quickly found out that wasn't
the case when he attempted entry. Lesson learned that night, while
friction may feel good for vaginal sex, when it comes to anal it can
be extremely uncomfortable and even down right painful. It took us a
while to learn the ins and outs (no pun intended) of anal sex. Back
in the day before the internets popularity we where were pretty much
left with vague descriptions in sexual health articles and the
unrealistic portrayals seen in pornography and of course trial and
error. Eventually got it right and even after the multiple failed
attempts scarring my sexual psyche I came to enjoy it.
There
are a few key things that need to come together in order for both
partners to enjoy anal.
Relaxation
It helps if the receiving partner relaxes. Being nervous can cause
muscles to tense. Maybe incorporate a sensual massage into foreplay.
Preparation
This can be achieved in a variety of different ways. A butt plug, anal
dildo or anal vibrator or even with fingers again this can be easily done
during foreplay. Don't rush things, give the muscles enough time and
work to stretch and loosen. Just make sure that any toy being used has a flared base for safety reasons. It also is a bonus if the toy is made of 100% silicone or glass as both can be easily sterilized after use.
Lubricant
A good quality lube is a must. For the most part simple water based
ones are inferior and might not work. I prefer silicone based ones
like Mood Silicone, Wicked Ultra or Sliquid Silver but there are
other great quality lubes out there for you to try. The right amount
is another important thing, it might take some experimenting until
you find the right amount. Just remember that spit does not make a
good lubricant for anal sex. For my silicone based toys I use VLube Water based Gel Lubricant.
Patience
This one is important to keep in mind. Take your time and don't
just expect to slide right in. It can can take a little time for the
receiver to accommodate the full length and girth of your erection or
a toy if you are using one.
Communication
and Respect
The receiver should not be shy about giving feedback and
their partner should respect them. If they say slow down then slow
down and if they say stop then stop! Also remember that just because
your last partner enjoyed anal does not mean that your current
partner will. Each and every person is different and those
differences need to be respected. Also do not pressure your partner
nor should you ever engage in sexual acts that you yourself are not
comfortable with or do not enjoy.
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